Mustang the Babysitter
by Storm Alchemist
Summary: This is a really funny story about how evil Maes can be, how careless Roy can be... and how evil Maes can get when Roy is careless with Elisia... YOU'LL LIKE IT IF YOU LIKE ROY, HUGHES, ELYSIA, VIOLENCE, R&R PLEASE!


Hughes cocked his head to one side as he tried to take in what Roy was saying. He didn't want to listen after the first sentence he had uttered but it wasn't because he was doing paperwork at the moment or because he was extremely bored… this time anyway.

"Hughes, I have decided to let you train me to be an expert knife wielder just like you!" The colonel said, as if it were the most honorable thing he had ever done. He smiled at Hughes awaiting an inevitable yes. "What do you say Maes?"

Hughes didn't even look up from his paperwork, he didn't want the flame alchemist see him smirking. Was he kidding or what, he had trained for years to be able to do his knife tricks, if Roy couldn't even sit still long enough to sign a few documents how was he ever going to train that long? "No," he said flatly to the colonel, this caused the flame alchemist's temple to start twitching.

"What do you mean NO!" He said as he slammed his palm on the desk, causing a few of his papers to flutter onto the floor. Roy thought that his friend would be flattered to teach him, him being the colonel! With a sigh he said, "fine, then I won't teach you alchemy," even when he started to walk away the major didn't look up. _He should feel pity and come after me right? What a good friend he is, NOT!_

"Look Mustang I would love to teach you my knife tricks," Hughes said still working, "I will… if you can help me with something." Hughes put on an evil grin but since his face was buried behind papers Roy didn't see that he was plotting. Now Hughes looked up with his green eyes to face Mustang, "so is it a deal or is it a deal?" He said no longer grinning evilly, just grinning.

"Deal, I guess," said Roy stepping over to Hughes's desk cautiously, _what is the deal anyway? _Maes put out his hand and Roy's met it, they shook. "Got ya!" Yelled Hughes a few seconds after their hands parted, he had that same evil grin on his face. "Where did I see you with that face last?" Roy asked backing up. "Oh no it's something really bad isn't it Hughes?"

Maes just took off his glasses casually, blew on them, cleaned them, and replaced them on his nose. "Maybe." He said amused, he loved toying with people as much as the colonel did but in a different fashion. He chose to annoy them until they cowered at his feet, this time he wasn't using that tactic, this time he was choosing a guessing game.

"I'll give you a clue Roy, look carefully ," Hughes got up and stood close to Roy, he moved his face close to the colonel's. _NO he's married he can't, this isn't possible! _Suddenly Maes reached for his pocket and flashed out a picture of his daughter, shoving it into Roy's scared face, "look Roy this is what I need help with!"

Roy was calmer now, knowing that his best friend wasn't going to try anything, what was his mission though? Hughes smiled, his glasses reflecting off the sunlight that was filtering through the window. _Hughes, it had better not be too bad or else I'm going to have to whip out my spark cloth glove, _He thought. "Come on I gave you the clue colonel now try to guess," whispered Maes excitedly, now it was starting to get fun. The longer he kept Roy guessing, the greater the impact when he found out what his end of the deal was.

"Seriously major you're starting to creep me out," Roy started to back away from Hughes with care, as if any false movement would cause a knife to come flying at him. _It wouldn't be the first time either; _Roy was thinking back to their childhood again, he gulped. Back then Maes was the one in control since Roy didn't have his firepower, Maes was incredibly obsessed with his knives back then.

"Roy it's nothing bad, you'll be thrilled to know that I allow you the responsibility of this," Maes cooed as he wiped some smudges off Elicia's picture on his military uniform. He was showing how evil he could be, only Roy knew how Maes could be if he ever gained control of someone. He was still as good natured as ever when he could pull someone's strings, as if he was making a puppet show with his daughter.

"What _is_ my responsibility exactly," asked Roy as calmly as ever, only a hint of anxiety was on his face. He braced himself against the wall in case it was something that would make him lose his balance. "ok Hughes what is it, I'm tired of your guessing game. "Very well," Hughes said in a kind of announcer voice, "You have been given the great pleasure my friend… to babysit my little girl!" Maes's smile grew with every passing second while Roy's shrank, what had he gotten himself into? Hughes sat back down and replaced the picture into his pocket with care, as if it were his real daughter. "After work I need to go investigate a case, I won't be back until tomorrow, I know how much you like kids Roy."

However, Roy did not like kids, he in fact hated the little brats! _Oh my god how am I going to get out of this? _As if Maes could hear Roy's thoughts he said "no taksie backsies!" _Wow what a jolly fellow, how can he make such a joke out of this? _"When you leave instead of going to your apartment go to my house, Gracia left some apple pie for you, she's going out with some friends." Roy was happy about the desert but now he had received information that he would be alone with Elicia, how would he manage?

"Maes?" Roy asked, "can someone else come with me, I'm not exactly astounding when I comes to taking care of kids." He allowed himself a smile when he thought back again to his childhood. He recreated the time when he and Maes babysat their next door neighbor's kid Stacy who was five at the time… food everywhere. "If you take Hawkeye along I'm afraid you two will create an x rated movie for my little angel and we don't want that," teased Hughes delightedly. Roy tried not to snap his fingers, he didn't want the deal to be called off… or did he?

"And don't even think about calling off the deal Roy," well that was the end of that choice. To learn how to throw knives as well as Maes this is what he needed to do. At least he could trust Maes with his side of the bargain, the major was a pretty honest guy. "Ok I'll do it," Roy said exasperated, "as if you had a choice," recited Maes cheerfully.


End file.
